December Open Letter

To whom it may represent,

I have been finding a unique sense of push when it comes to my own life. This push, which I thought was going to be isolating, has become community-focused. Recently, I found answers that emotionally made me accept the things I genuinely thought I could change. The thought was that if I stayed positive and neutral and held space for others, I may be back on good terms with those I find misalignment with. I thought maybe there was a space that could still exist in others’ unwillingness. I have to admit this to you all now. I was wrong.

I was wrong in that the space I made meant others would use it. I was wrong in thinking that catering my emotional consistency would bring the light out in others. But most importantly, I was wrong in denying my self-care. I allowed myself to care about others to keep my peace. It is one thing to hear or know about others’ transgressions, but to see it for yourself changes your entire world. I thought I would feel dark about this, but I found humor at the root of the harsh truth. My existence meant so much that I pushed people away. I find a strength in this that may be a nod to my own resilience. 

You are so special to the people around you. And many times, when you notice the shift in others’ placement in your life without acknowledgment, it means that there is a mental fork in the journey. Are you entering yours? I have decided that a decision is only worth it if I am who I am from the beginning of it. The more I choose, the more I understand the power of light. Even light can blind you, yet it makes no effort to show you things because its job is to simply shine. I have no choice but to shine in my identity and allow my dark to be comforting when it is time to rest. I hold both truths happily as I know Self. I want you to choose yourself too.

I hope this letter finds you at your fork in the road. I want this letter to be a reminder of how you show up for yourself. And if you do it well enough, you won’t have to tell anyone to leave; they simply won’t keep up. It’s time to choose what you’ve always looked for in the hopes of others. 

Be Kind to yourself so that Love can work on you,

– William


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